Touch Starvation

There is no substitute for physical touch. There is nothing like nestling your face on a chest and finding that perfect spot where your jaw can completely relax into.

Feeling your hands interlocking with another, web to web. The warmth of another body curling up next to yours under the blanket. Cold feet nuzzling under your legs to steal some heat.

Human to human touch can communicate in ways the most cleverly crafted poem or music just can’t...

So what do we do during quarantine to meet our touch needs?

Swaddle yourself:

• Bury yourself in a pile of pillows — between your legs, behind your back, hugging them and placed all-around your periphery. In this position, with physical soft objects touching you, breathe and go into your imagination of being held by your perfect lover. Invest in a weighted blanket or take a soft blanket and curl up into a blanket burrito and swaddle yourself. Just like we do to babies to comfort them, give your adult body the same care for your inner child.

Imagination: Your brain doesn’t know between “real” and “imagined” 

• Stretch your imagination and creativity to meditate on how connected we truly are. For COVID19 to have spread so fast across the globe, that’s how linked we are human to human. Picture in your mind's eye, this giant rock we call home, earth, that is hurtling through space and all the life forms on it. When you can expand beyond the personal, you get to shift your consciousness into a holistic view of what is happening and tap into an expanded, diffused awareness.

Isolation vs Solitude: Know that you’re not alone in this. 

• Even if you’ve been involuntarily celibate or living alone without physical touch for some time now, know that there are others in this world also not getting their touch needs met. Isolation is feeling all alone, a contraction that happens as if the walls are caving in on you outside of your choice or control. Whereas solitude is an active meeting of yourself, a personal choice to explore the expansion of your inner space. Can you feel connected by knowing you’re not alone in this?

There is an end date.

• This won’t last forever. But it may last several months to the rest of the year. When your brain knows there is an end date, it can learn to cope better than in the “unknown.” Find certainty in yourself in times of ambiguity. Feel your heartbeat. Focus on your breath. Know that this too shall pass.

We DON'T want to “Social Distance” but DO want "Physical Distancing" + "Social Connection"

• There’s a life span for COVID19 that ranges between 14 to 39 days. Depending on your protocol, be vigilant about washing your hands with soap and hot water for 30+ seconds, clean your space, keep physical distance with others, wear gloves and a mask when out and make sure to strip down and jump in the shower when you get home (yes, it can live on your clothes & hair)! Make a list of everyone & places you’ve come in contact with for the last 14 days. Keep track of any symptoms these groups of people may have. If no-one exhibits symptoms within this time frame, you may be in the clear.
• When you can practice this level of caution, you can create a closed-loop quarantine for yourself. When you’ve practiced a closed-loop, you can connect with others who are also in a closed-loop quarantine.

Adopt an animal:

• Animals do not carry or pass on COVID19 to humans. Research animal shelters or find a neighbor who may have had a litter. Get creative on safely adopting an animal to keep your company and save a life. If your apartment or housing won’t allow it, perhaps have a conversation with your landlord to express this desire in these trying and unique times — they may make an exception.

Touched out:

• The opposite phenomenon is also true... people can get touched out. This often happens to mothers with newborn babies or toddlers who are constantly crawling into your lap, holding them, breastfeeding and feeling the loss of personal space or freedom. There’s a physical touch quota that the body meets when our freedom or personal space gets encroached upon day in and day out. We all need both — physical touch and closeness as well as freedom and space.
• In these physical distancing and quarantine times, we may crave more closeness than ever before but remember the cliché of “the grass always being greener on the other side” and allow yourself to even enjoy the newfound freedom you may never have experienced in life before.